Going to your first ultrasound appointment and listening to your baby's heartbeat is one of the most exciting things you might ever hear. It is overwhelming, terrifying and exhilarating all at the same time. It is that little affirmation that yes, you did in fact make a human and it’s growing inside of you!! Your mind floods with all of the hopes, dreams and fears of your impending parenthood. The feelings of love, anticipation and joy get mixed up with anxiety, worry and inadequacy. If you’ve ever seen ‘Inside Out’, it’s kind of like when ‘Sadness’ starts hijacking all of the feel good emotions and suddenly you are on an emotional rollercoaster and you can’t get off. In the best possible way though. The joy of that tiny, fast, strong little heartbeat is special.
My cousin Cody and his girl Kim, got to experience that joy this past week. And what makes their experience extra special, is that this little bean is their Rainbow Baby. If you haven’t heard that term before, it’s the baby you have after experiencing a miscarriage or stillbirth. It’s an incredibly special name for something incredibly difficult to endure. These two had their worlds rocked several months back when the joy of being pregnant quickly turned to deep sadness at the unexpected loss. Out of that pain they realized that even though it would be scary to try again, it would be worth it… they wanted it so badly. They had so many wishes wrapped up in that first pregnancy and they knew they needed to move forward.
A couple months ago, we were hanging out talking about all of this. They shared their pain with us and opened up about the loss of their baby. They talked a lot about how it was so surprising and it completely took them off guard. That the pain was still palpable months later. I’ve heard that before from other friends that have experienced this. There is so much talk around how to prevent pregnancy as you are growing up. But then when you grow up and want to be pregnant, and it doesn’t work, it’s so confusing. It’s heartbreaking and frustrating. It’s like you always thought it would be so easy and so many people do it on accident… and here you are wondering what the heck is wrong with your body. And truthfully, this experience isn’t really that uncommon. A lot of people go through this and I am so glad that we are alive in a time when we are able to share these stories so that nobody has to face this alone. If this little story can fill just one extra person with the hope they need to get through a loss of their own, that is a blessing and I am grateful for it.
So it is with great joy that I get to announce to the world this new life growing in Kim’s belly. This beautiful little miracle. This second chance. This perfect heartbeat. This rainbow after the storm. This Future Jedi.
May the force be with you.
PS-Sorry for the cheesy cornball line at the end… I kinda can’t help myself. All jokes aside, I am stoked about this baby and you will definitely be seeing more from these three down the road. Kim told me she wants to take ALL the pictures! Ha! And can we talk about how cool they are for a second? Love it when couples can rock their own personal style! As always... hit me up if you are in need of some photographs... it's kinda my thing ;) Love to you all on this beautiful Tuesday morning! ~Jenn
As always... hit me up if you are in need of some photographs... it's kinda my thing ;) Love to you all on this beautiful Tuesday morning! ~Jenn