Listening to your baby's heartbeat-Cody and Kim's Pregnancy Announcement--Mead, Colorado

Going to your first ultrasound appointment and listening to your baby's heartbeat is one of the most exciting things you might ever hear. It is overwhelming, terrifying and exhilarating all at the same time. It is that little affirmation that yes, you did in fact make a human and it’s growing inside of you!! Your mind floods with all of the hopes, dreams and fears of your impending parenthood. The feelings of love, anticipation and joy get mixed up with anxiety, worry and inadequacy. If you’ve ever seen ‘Inside Out’, it’s kind of like when ‘Sadness’ starts hijacking all of the feel good emotions and suddenly you are on an emotional rollercoaster and you can’t get off. In the best possible way though. The joy of that tiny, fast, strong little heartbeat is special.

My cousin Cody and his girl Kim, got to experience that joy this past week. And what makes their experience extra special, is that this little bean is their Rainbow Baby. If you haven’t heard that term before, it’s the baby you have after experiencing a miscarriage or stillbirth. It’s an incredibly special name for something incredibly difficult to endure. These two had their worlds rocked several months back when the joy of being pregnant quickly turned to deep sadness at the unexpected loss. Out of that pain they realized that even though it would be scary to try again, it would be worth it… they wanted it so badly. They had so many wishes wrapped up in that first pregnancy and they knew they needed to move forward.

A couple months ago, we were hanging out talking about all of this. They shared their pain with us and opened up about the loss of their baby. They talked a lot about how it was so surprising and it completely took them off guard. That the pain was still palpable months later. I’ve heard that before from other friends that have experienced this. There is so much talk around how to prevent pregnancy as you are growing up. But then when you grow up and want to be pregnant, and it doesn’t work, it’s so confusing. It’s heartbreaking and frustrating. It’s like you always thought it would be so easy and so many people do it on accident… and here you are wondering what the heck is wrong with your body. And truthfully, this experience isn’t really that uncommon. A lot of people go through this and I am so glad that we are alive in a time when we are able to share these stories so that nobody has to face this alone. If this little story can fill just one extra person with the hope they need to get through a loss of their own, that is a blessing and I am grateful for it.

So it is with great joy that I get to announce to the world this new life growing in Kim’s belly. This beautiful little miracle. This second chance. This perfect heartbeat. This rainbow after the storm. This Future Jedi.

May the force be with you.

PS-Sorry for the cheesy cornball line at the end… I kinda can’t help myself. All jokes aside, I am stoked about this baby and you will definitely be seeing more from these three down the road. Kim told me she wants to take ALL the pictures! Ha! And can we talk about how cool they are for a second? Love it when couples can rock their own personal style! As always... hit me up if you are in need of some photographs... it's kinda my thing ;) Love to you all on this beautiful Tuesday morning! ~Jenn

As always... hit me up if you are in need of some photographs... it's kinda my thing ;) Love to you all on this beautiful Tuesday morning! ~Jenn

Our Love Story, Part 1: Middle School

In honor of Valentine's Day, I wanted to share my own personal love story.  My husband Adam and I have been married for 10 years, dated for 6 prior to that, and actually met way back in middle school. 

We've known each other longer than we haven't and even after all this time, I still have a crush on him.  And since we have a long history, I decided to tell our story in 3 parts. 

My hope is that you enjoy reading our little love story and laugh a little while making your way through the years with us.

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Part 1: Middle School

I saw him walking down the hall of our crowded middle school, shaved head, flannel, and skateboard tucked under his arm.  He was laughing with his friends. I was instantly drawn to his big toothy smile. For a few days, I tried my best to figure out his schedule, hoping that I would catch sight of him. He was pretty easy to spot though, already over 6 feet tall in the 7th grade and me, a mere 4’ 11 & ¾”.  One day I saw him talking to some mutual friends. Bingo! This was my in… So I did what any middle school girl with a crush would do… I enlisted the help of said friends and started making a plan!

There was so much to do… First on the list- find out his name.  Second- figure out how to get an introduction.  Third- act cooler than I was so that if we did meet, he couldn’t help but like me.  Fourth--and this was the hardest of all-- get him to break up with his girlfriend.  Yikes!  I know!?! Terrible right?  But we were in middle school after all so being immature was totally acceptable. 

After a couple of weeks in planning mode, I finally got up the courage to meet him in person.  My friend was having a birthday party on a Friday night so I had our mutual friend invite him along.  My plan was to get his attention at the party and befriend him… and act super cool right?  Pause- To my friends who knew me back then, I’m sure you’re laughing hysterically right about now because you know-- I. Was. Not. Cool. 

Picture awkward, ill fitting basketball jerseys over T-shirts, Adidas sandals and tube socks, scrunchies...those were all ‘in’ at the time by the way...  I had pale skin, red hair and freckles (before it was cool), zero successful conversations with boys under my belt and people always teased me about my laugh (I still don’t understand that one).  If you were to poll the entire student body as to whether or not my plan would work, I’m sure everyone would’ve answered NO by a landslide.

But alas… I wouldn’t be here telling you this story if they were all right.  And thank God they weren’t. 

That Friday night birthday party ended up being a total victory.  I don’t know how, but Adam was actually in to me.  We hit it off right away.  We flirted, laughed, jumped on the tramp together, exchanged numbers and he even showed me how to ride his skateboard.  The next day we talked on the phone for hours.  Through the weekend we remained ‘just friends’.

Monday morning rolled around and news was all over the school that he had broken up with his girlfriend.  It was also news to me… I mean I was excited and all  but then incredibly nervous because I didn’t want any trouble.  And if he broke up with his girlfriend because of me, then chances were he was going to ask me out… and I had no idea how to be a girlfriend.  Remember, we are talking about totally awkward middle school Jenn.

By some stroke of luck, that afternoon he asked me out and we were boyfriend and girlfriend. I was over the moon.  We held hands, talked on the phone constantly, made every effort to hang out… even rode our bikes across town to meet up.  One time we got called to the principal’s office for PDA (Public Display of Affection) for holding hands at a school play.  Adam’s mom worked at our school as the counseling office secretary and this was not a shining moment for her.  And I was definitely not on her list of favorite people. In addition, I happened to be her office aid so I had to sit directly across from her after the trip to the principal’s office knowing full well that she knew what had happened. Totally embarrassing. Of course, back then I had no idea she’d someday be my mother in law.

Summer came and we were a couple of inseparable 13 year olds. If emojis had existed back then, I was all heart eyes!!

But guys… we were in middle school!  By late June we broke up.  Adam called me up and told me that he wanted to break up because he needed guy time with his friends.  You know, to skateboard and play video games without having to call and check in with his girlfriend. 

You might think that this crushed me.  Actually, I was totally fine.  I don’t even remember crying.  It was as if I knew that no matter what our relationship status was, we were friends and that part wasn’t going to change.  And I was right.

I still really liked him (obviously) and we stayed good friends for a while.  As time went on though, we lost touch and I only saw him in the halls of our high school on occasion.  I missed him and thought of him often.  Even when I dated other guys and especially when I knew he was dating other girls.

On a warm September day of my senior year of high school, I saw him standing in the corner of our crowded hallway.  He was somehow taller.  And now he had a mohawk and a studded vest… I was done for.

Tune in next week for part 2!

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Now don't laugh... these are the only middle school photos I could find!  Next week's post will have more from the high school years.

Ugh... see?? So awkward.  Khaki shortalls? WTH.  It was 1998 so yeah...that's how we dressed.

Adam jumping on the tramp at the Friday night birthday party--our mutual friend to the right.  Adam wore that flannel like everyday and we still have it!!

A Tale as Old as Time

Okay, so maybe I ripped that from Beauty and the Beast...but here’s the thing… it totally applies to this story. The story of my grandparents. Their love story.  A story I grew up with, one that I admire, and one that I look to often as a reminder that love endures... if you will it to.

My grandparents, Henry and Edean, married on March 24th, 1951.   Edean, only 20, and Henry, (as he would often tell us) had just turned 21 a few days prior to their wedding day.  They had a traditional church wedding and cake reception with lots of friends, family and community members to witness their union.  You see, I know all of this because my grandmother documented everything about their life together.  I have their wedding book in which she wrote each single piece of china and silver that was gifted to them that day. (See the picture below of the receipts from the florist!) Along with that, I have many photos to look at along with descriptions of what was happening in that moment.  And it’s not lost on me that this is a true blessing to be able to look back in time and see how young and strong they were that day.  The day they committed themselves to a life that would bring so much happiness, and at times deep sorrow, but ultimately a love so strong that it definitely stood the test of time.

Shortly after they married, my grandfather was enlisted in the Army during the Korean War.  They spent the first years of their marriage apart, only corresponding through mail.  My grandfather sent letters and pictures of himself at basic training, with his comrades and of his travels overseas.  He saw so much of the world and loved to share it with his bride back home.  He was fortunate to be stationed in Germany because of his typing skills and served as a translator for a base there.  She, back in Texas, looked after their home, kept busy at their church, and wrote him letters often as well.  Together, they dreamt of the day he would return home and they could start the family they both deeply wanted. 

After his homecoming, he enrolled at Texas Tech University where he studied to become a rancher and they got to work on that family.  But… after nearly 8 years of trying for a baby, they decided that having children was so important to them, that if they couldn’t do it naturally, they would adopt.  Soon after that, they were presented with the wonderful opportunity to adopt 2 children from a single mother that could not care for them… a boy and a girl.  They were all set to adopt when my grandmother found out that she was pregnant!!  Of course God works in the most mysterious of ways.  The news of the pregnancy didn’t stop them from wanting that little boy and little girl, and they planned to go through with the adoption.  They were thrilled to be starting a family.  At the last minute, with a change of heart, the father of those children came back and reconciled with the mother and decided they wanted to be a family.  So, my grandparents did what they would always do, and turned to each other for strength.  They were also extremely faithful people and believed that God would always provide what they needed. 

Well, they were right to think that.  Everything fell into place.  My grandfather was promoted to the ranch manager position at the Lyndon B. Johnson ranch in Stonewall, TX.  They welcomed my mother, Edie, in August and just a short 13 months later, delivered my uncle Budd.  After many wonderful years at the LBJ ranch (and fantastic stories to go with them, like the time JFK visited and held my mother while my grandfather proudly looked on) they picked up and moved to Colorado at the chance to buy a ranch of their own. 

Once in Colorado, my grandmother became pregnant again.  Only this time, things didn’t go as planned.  Their daughter, Callie, died very shortly after birth and my grandmother was so ill that she never even got to see or hold her baby girl.  A very dark time in their life, they again turned to each other.  When my grandmother thought she could never get past the sorrow of losing a child, she handed it over to God.  She put her trust in her faith and worked to move forward.  And of course they were blessed again.  My uncle Sander was born 9 years after my mother and would remain the youngest in their little family. 

The years rolled by.  Some good, some bad.  The kids grew up, they moved a few times, started welcoming grandchildren, even great grandchildren, started saying goodbye to loved ones passing on, changed careers, retired to Southern Colorado, and ultimately lived out their final days close to family.  A lot of life was done side by side.  And every year, on March 24th, they would celebrate that day, way back when they joined together in a promise.  A promise  to endure the test of time, no matter the circumstances.  And that’s how they stayed.  For 64 beautiful years. 

My grandfather passed away on January 27th, 2017, and while she tried to be strong, my grandmother really didn’t like being here while he was there… in the heaven that they both faithfully decided was theirs to share for another eternity.  She knew he’d be there to welcome her home again. She joined him on December 7th, 2017.  In the days before her death, she talked about him often and told us that he came to her in a dream and said that when she was ready, he’d be there to come and get her.  The hospice chaplain came the day before she passed and asked her what message did she want to leave the world with.  And without missing a beat she said, “More love. Love everywhere. Everyone needs to love more.” 

And that was that.  She left and returned to her best friend, the love of her life.  And how could it end any differently?  They spent a lifetime with each other and  journeyed through every one of life’s blessings and hardships together.

But the story doesn’t end there.  This love story was just the start of a family legacy that all of us who are still living work to preserve for generations to come.  You don’t grow up watching two people love each other so well and not pick up a thing or two.  It would be a disservice to all of the sacrifices they made for us to not let love prevail. 

I like to imagine their wedding day and how I was there...not yet physically of course… but in all those promises of love, life and hope.  This is a love story that goes on and on and my hope is that to anyone reading this, you know this kind of love and you promise to keep it alive too.   Not just for you but for your future grandchildren and great grandchildren.

                Henry & Edean Blackburn March 24th, 1951

             Sander                                           Budd                                                Edie

The receipts from the florist on their wedding day... I wish flowers were still that cheap!

The local newspaper article about their marriage paired with the wedding invititations.

My grandma saved every newspaper clipping ever! We have dozens of scrapbooks she made over the years. This page is from their days at the LBJ Ranch.