Hello everyone! Here is it is... the final installment of Our Love Story, Part 3! Thank you all for joining me as I tell the story of 'Adam and Jenn'. I have really enjoyed writing it and my hope is that you enjoy reading it! If you missed the first two parts, check them out!
Part 1 : Middle School & Part 2: Growing Up Together
**A little note before you begin... I included several pictures to tell this part of the story and they are all from different people and different cameras so that's why some of the images aren't super high quality... but they're still fun to look at :)
Dear Adam,
I don’t exactly know how to finish telling all of our wonderful readers part 3 of our little love story. I thought and thought and thought about it. After much debate and a couple of false starts, I realized that I actually wasn’t writing this for them. (Sorry guys!) I was writing this for you... and me. And for our girls.
We’ve been married 10 years now and it’s nearly impossible to recount all of the story worthy moments we’ve shared. And honestly, when I think back over those 10 years, it’s kind of a blur anyway. I feel like 10 years is a big deal but it doesn’t feel like 10. I guess that’s a good thing right?
You know as much as I do that it hasn’t been all roses. Of course we’ve faced a lot of hardships, made hundreds (if not thousands) of sacrifices, worked hard, scraped by, and endured loss. Loss of family, loss of jobs, loss of income, loss of friends, loss of direction. But never loss of faith in each other. Through all of the things that we have overcome, we somehow always find each other.
On our wedding day, I remember the feeling that washed over me as the pastor told our closest family and friends that they were there to hold witness to our commitment to each other. And that if ever our love wavered or our relationship took a turn in the wrong direction, they were supposed to step in and remind us of why we made that commitment. The feeling of protection was so powerful and I remember looking up at you, thinking, “I’m home.” I knew without a doubt that all of the days leading up to this one were little tests, little nudges, little pushes in this direction to get me to this day.
There were times in the years before we were married that I wondered if we should be together. I worried that I wasn’t good enough for you or your family. I worried that some cuter, smarter, funnier girl would come along and catch your attention. I worried that you might not put up with my crazy anymore.
But not you… you “Mr. worries about everything”... every time one of those thoughts entered my mind you somehow saw my insecurities and drew me closer. You leaned into me every time I thought I should push you away. I have faced so much loss in my life and have come to expect it so much, that at times, I figured I’d eventually lose you too. I remember telling you this one night and, with conviction, you told me, “I broke up with two girlfriends for you, it’s always been you, I’m not going anywhere.”
So on our wedding day, and every day since, I have felt your protection. The way you take care of things around the house (mostly before I ask), the way you take on things you know I hate like dishes, taxes, car stuff… The way you insist on sleeping on the side of the bed closest to the door in case of a home invasion. (This is obviously my favorite one because it’s hilarious!!) The way you encourage me, support me and never actually tell me I’m crazy, even though I know you’re thinking it. And you never lose your temper even when I am in a particularly difficult mood. You know how to stay calm and be patient… something I wish would rub off on me! You have a wonderfully sensitive soul that sees the best in people. When I start being judgemental about anything, you give me a new perspective and snap me out of it. I love that you value me as a woman and that our daughters see that being a girl simply means being strong. You make me believe that I can do anything. And because you do that for me, I never worry that our girls will grow up thinking they can’t achieve their wildest dreams… You will see to it that they feel supported in whatever direction they go. Our home is full of music, we get plenty of belly laughs, and I never have to worry that we will run out of popcorn. My life is so good with you.
In all of the blurriness of those first years of marriage, I do remember lots of adventure. Can you believe we packed up and moved to South Korea in our very first year as a married couple? I still think that was wild. Do you remember how scared we were to get on that plane? Two kids from Longmont who had technically never been out of the country, heading to a foreign land that we never had any intention of seeing otherwise. And when we got to our apartment at 2am and the smell that was so awful it made us cry? We sat huddled together in that dirty, dingy, tiny 18th story apartment, looking out over a brightly lit city that was now our home...wondering what the hell we had gotten into. We leaned in hard to each other during that year. It was full of self discovery and bonded us so deeply that we came home with a strength I don’t believe we would have found otherwise. You totally came out of your shell. I remember watching you make friends and talk to strangers with such ease. Back home I was so used to doing the talking for both of us because you were so shy. Your adventurous spirit came out in full force and before I could say no, you would say yes. You had us eating all sorts of crazy stuff… cow intestine, raw liver, live octopus, silkworm larvae, chicken feet.
After 12 months of crazy adventures we decided to come home and plant some roots. What we didn’t know was that soon after we were home my mom would pass away. I faced a loss that was so tragic it nearly broke me. But you wouldn’t let it. You held on to me even tighter and helped me through the most difficult days of my life. You also took care of my sisters and made sure that we all survived it. This incredible but quiet strength you provided day after day without wavering got us through our darkest time. That feeling of protection again that you so effortlessly provide.
A few years of uncertainty followed… not about our relationship, but about what we wanted to do next. The obvious thing was to start a family. But what we thought would be an easy thing to do, turned out being a year and half of “not this month”. I remember that day though, the one that finally had two blue lines. I came out of the bathroom to show you and you were so excited that it was real… you kept throwing your hands up and saying, “Seriously?” There was so much excitement wrapped up in that pregnancy and we would talk for hours about our hopes and dreams for our baby. The day she was born was nothing short of amazing. I’ll always remember your face as you announced that it was a girl and helped to place Lydia on my chest. I found a whole new kind of love that I didn’t know existed. You made me a mom and I will always love you more than anyone for that.
Welcoming Lydia Lucille
Welcoming Emmersyn Joan
And even though only a third of our marriage has been as parents, it’s by far my favorite part. I always knew you’d be a good dad but you have far exceeded my expectations. I love watching you play with our girls. Teaching them, reading to them, playing music for them. I’ve watched you rock those babies to sleep, singing softly and heard you whispering your special goodnight messages that only they can hear (that you probably don’t know that I know about). And every time I am reminded that not everyone is this lucky.
On a day to day basis, like every other human, I take these things for granted. I don’t slow down enough to thank you. Or tell you that you are a treasure. But today… I am feeling very grateful that as I reflect back on the last decade of my life, I see you. You are there in every memory, holding my hand, standing by my side and keeping me upright when all I want is to curl up in a ball and shut out the hard parts. I love the life you have provided us and the sacrifices you make to keep us all happy. I love that you so selflessly give to our family when you often go without the things you want. I love you for being excited to take Lydia to swim lessons on a Saturday mornings and getting up early on the weekends with Emmy so I can sleep in. I love that you go to work everyday with passion and motivation to inspire kids. You are a natural born teacher and I am so proud of you for doing what you love. I feel so lucky that whatever drew us together when we were just a couple of goofy 13 year olds has been strong enough to keep us together all these years.
As we head into this next decade, I am excited. I am excited that we get to do this life together. How lucky we are to have a best friend for life and two sweet girls to witness our crazy love. I think about the stories they’ll tell their friends about how weird their parents are and it comforts me. Yes, life is good.
I’ll journey to the end with you.
Love you,
Jennifer